


I'm So Sick

by shiroderexx



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Dense crushes, Exboyfriend!Seonghwa, Fake boyfriend!Yunho, Friends to Lovers, I'm so sick - APink, Kinda?, M/M, Married!Woosan, Mentions of alcohol, Moron!Hongjoong, Moronsexual!Yeosang, Naïve!Mingi, Rich kid!Jongho, This was a whole ass ride, fake boyfriend, it's a wedding!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24189430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiroderexx/pseuds/shiroderexx
Summary: Hongjoong promised to bring a boyfriend to his cousin's wedding. The problem is he does not have one... yet.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kang Yeosang/Kim Hongjoong
Comments: 8
Kudos: 147





	I'm So Sick

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is day 7 of the Kpop Songfic Challenge I created. If you are curious about the schedule or want to participate, you can look it up on my pinned (@jeonghxbit). Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy!

“The whole family is looking forward to meeting your boyfriend!”, my mom says through the phone.

I am taking a break on the coffee room. My mom called me to remind me about my cousin’s wedding. He is getting married on Saturday and I promised to come along with my boyfriend. Which, of course, I do not have.

I have asked some of my friends to play the role, but they were all busy or did not want to.

“Yeah, sure mom”, I assure her.

“What was his name again?”, she asks.

Right that moment one of my coworkers enters the coffee room.

“Yunho”, I greet him. He nods back.

“Yunho? What a cute name! I’ll be looking forward to meeting him.”

“What? Mom! That’s just my coworker.”

But she has hanged up already. Yunho looks weirdly at me and I smile at him awkwardly.

“You okay?”, he asks me.

I sigh while pinching the bridge of my nose.

“Would you help me with something?”, I state.

Yunho tilts his head. He looks at me with big confused eyes.

“Yeah? Sure”, he pours some coffee into a mug.

“Are you free this Saturday?”, I blurt.

※

I tidy my clothes while waiting for Yunho to pick me up. In the end he agreed to pretend to be my boyfriend.

“You mean I get free food and free alcohol? Plus, compliments? And I just have to pretend to date you?”, he made it sound like and ideal plan.

I am not so sure about that. During the week we came up with a sort of plan. He would pick me up in the morning and we would head to the chapel. Yunho would greet my family, everyone would compliment him and then he would keep a low profile and stick by my side during lunch. Then after cake he would leave with a work-related excuse. In one week or two I would tell my mom that we have broken up and that would be it. I mean, it is not like I have had any partner last me longer than that so… It would not surprise her. I will have to fake cry a little and we will binge watch _Grey’s Anatomy_.

“Ice-cream is the best way to heal a broken heart”, my mom always says.

She is an expert in the matter, or so she says. My father just watches from the side as we complain about how complicated and simple at the same time men are. He stares blankly at the newspaper of the day, waiting for when he can watch the news on TV again.

Yunho picks me up on a nice car. It is sparkly and big. Very big. I hop on next to him while he smiles widely at me. He is wearing a black suit. It suits him perfectly. I mean, wouldn’t it? He is tall and has a nice body, of course it would suit him. Mom is going to be impressed.

“Morning”, Yunho greets me.

“Good morning!”, I reply.

I fasten my seatbelt while he starts the car.

“Can you put the address on Google Maps?”, he asks me while merging.

“Sure”, I grab his phone and type the chapel’s location. We are half-an-hour away, but with this traffic it will take a little longer than that.

“Is this car yours?”, I ask him.

“Nope, actually is from my flat mate. He let me borrow it”, Yunho explains.

“Well, your flat mate is nice… and rich?”, I say, impressed.

“He kinda is… He works for his family company or something”, Yunho continues.

“I see”, I nod.

“He just gave it to me because he said that with my -and I quote- old excuse of a car…”, Yunho rolls his eyes, “I wouldn’t impress anybody.”

I chuckle.

“You don’t have to impress anyone; we are going to fake break up in a week.”

“Still”, Yunho looks at me briefly while driving, “I am trying to be a nice fake boyfriend, you know? Leave a nice impression on your family and all that. I take pride on being a try harder.”

Yunho smiles widely. Well, if that what he wants. I shrug.

“Okay. Let’s go over our fake love story”, I say.

“Right”, Yunho fidgets a little and sticks his tongue out like he is trying to remember the script we planned together. He finally does and starts speaking.

“We met at work. That’s obvious”, he gestures, “You were clearly seduced by my incredible charms and started daydreaming about holding hands with me…”

“You can skip that”, I furrow my eyebrows.

“I was just kidding”, Yunho flashes me a side smile. “Okay, we met at work. We made out during one of the company’s parties and have been dating for… how long?”

“I told my mom I had a boyfriend like six months ago so… six months and a half?”, I wonder.

“Yeah, that seems about right”, he agrees. “So, we have been dating for almost seven months now. You still haven’t met my family… But you will soon. And what else?”

Yunho tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows, trying to remember the rest of our fake story.

“Ah! Right! Our first date was on my favorite pizza place”, Yunho finally blurts.

“And then you took me back home in this nice car”, I caress my seat.

“Did we have sex on the first date?”, he asks me.

I jump on my seat and blush. I feel the blood rush quickly to my face.

“Hell no! I’m not that kind of guy!”, I reply.

“I was just asking because I am that kind of guy”, Yunho shrugs.

“Well, I do not think that is relevant to the story”, I contradict him.

“I think it is. Then I would know how I have to act on a skinship basis”, he explains to me.

“Skinship? I’m too shy to do that in front of my family.”

“That’s nice to know!”, Yunho says. “There are some things I have to know as your fake boyfriend, you know? Like if I can put my arm over your shoulders or grab your ass.”

“Please do not grab my ass, my dad would kill you”, I look at him with wide terrified eyes.

“I’m not gonna do that”, Yunho rolls his eyes. “Anyways, I think I should get to know you a little bit more. If your mother asks me like basic things about you, what am I going to do? Just stare at her blankly. I’m a better fake boyfriend than that.”

“I think you are taking this too seriously”, I smile awkwardly.

“I am just trying to do a nice job. I am getting paid with cake and compliments and those depend on my acting. I took acting classes in high school, by the way”, he informs me.

“You did? I was a tree once”, I tell him.

“Me too!”, Yunho beams.

Like that we talk about our interests and hobbies for the rest of the ride. Turns out we actually have similar ones. We both like musicals and our favorite Christmas movie is _Love Actually_. We enjoy basketball: he played during high school and now is in his neighborhood’s team and I love watching it. I talk about my obsession with collecting earrings and he confesses he has a terrible addiction to bubble tea. The almost one-hour ride passes by fast while we laugh.

When the mechanic voice of Google Maps announces we have arrived at the wedding’s location we suddenly quiet down. Yunho parks the car and looks at me.

“Are you ready?”, he asks me.

“I think so”, I nod.

“It’s gonna be nice. None’s going to find out. I will have cake and leave. They will all love me and then I will fake break your heart”, Yunho assures me.

“Yeah, just stick to the script and to me. I will smooth everything”, I tell him.

“Sure, sure. I will go along with everything”, he agrees.

“Okay, then let’s go. When we get out the car we are dating”, I gaze into his eyes, looking for reassurance. Yunho nods and I turn around to grab the door’s handle.

“Wait!”, Yunho stops me last second.

“What?”, I ask him.

“We didn’t agree on pet names!”, he says as if we have committed a crime.

This time it is I who rolls my eyes.

“Seriously? Just call me babe or Joong, or Joonie, just whatever.”

“That’s nice, _Joonie_ ”, Yunho looks down for a second.

I blush. It sounds cute when he says it. Then he suddenly looks back up. Our eyes meet and he smiles widely.

“Let’s go, then! We have people to trick!”, he beams.

※

I scan the chapel looking for my parents. I mean, it is a chapel, but it is not a religious ceremony. Of course, it is not. My cousin is gay. This building is just an old chapel that they refurnished and transformed to hold all kinds of ceremonies. Actually, the banquet is also in the building. I can see some waiters running up and down holding some chairs and cutlery.

“Hongjoong!”, I hear a familiar voice shout my name. I turn around looking for the source to find my mom.

“Mom”, I hug her tightly.

“You look so handsome! Is this suit new? Did you cut your hair?”, my mom bombards me with questions.

“Yes, and yes”, I nod.

“You look so handsome”, she repeats. Then she looks besides me, and her eyes meet Yunho. She looks back at me flabbergasted.

“Is that…?”, her tone shows surprise.

“Mom let me introduce you to my boyfriend: Yunho”, I look back to my coworker.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Kim”, he smiles.

“You are so handsome!”, my mom just yells.

“Mom!”, I blush.

“Thank you”, Yunho continues smiling. “You look very beautiful in that dress, Mrs. Kim”, he compliments my mom back.

“Ah, c’mon. Stop that! I hate it!”, my mom fakes it bothers her. But she is actually loving it. I roll my eyes a little bit and shake my head.

“Anyway, mom. Where is dad?”, I ask her.

“He is with your cousin and your uncle at the back room”, she explains. “He is having a little bit of a panic attack with all the tying the knot thingy”, she sighs.

“For real? But he was so sure?”, I am surprised. My cousin is not the type to back down last minute.

“Ah! No, no. He is. But he is just nervous, you know? It’s his big day after all”, my mom says that last phrase with a longing tone. As if she is daydreaming about her own wedding.

“Okay, then. I’ll head there and offer emotional support”, I assure her.

“Okay, your _boyfriend_ can stay with me. I’ll introduce him to your aunt and grandma”, she smiles at Yunho.

“I think it would be better if he meets my cousin first”, I try to keep Yunho by my side.

“Oh, honey! Don’t be so protective!”, my mom dismisses me. “We’ll take good care of him, right?”, she speaks directly to my fake boyfriend.

Yunho looks at me a little confused. That was not in our plans. We had to stick together. I look at my mom and then back at him. What can happen if I let him go? Nothing bad, right? I sigh and give in.

“Okay, take care of him, mom”, she beams and grabs Yunho by the arm.

“Let’s go, dear! You have lots of people to meet!”, she shouts while dragging him through the crowd.

Yunho looks back at me in panic. I wave at him awkwardly and mouth the words ‘I’m sorry’. I do not know if he understands but he kind of glares at me for a second. Just for a second though. Then he gets back to his normal self. Or acting self. He engages in conversation with my mom. I can hear her laugh from across the big room. Hopefully, it will be okay.

I sigh and head the opposite way, to my cousin.

※

When I enter the room, my cousin is walking up and down.

“And then he tells me that he is not sure!”, he is shouting at nobody.

“San calm down. I’m sure he is just nervous”, his father, my uncle tries to calm him.

“How can I calm down, dad? The love of my life is not sure about our wedding!”, my cousin throws himself on a chair.

“That’s because you chose to marry a fucking Sagittarius. You know they have commitment issues”, I say as a greeting.

My cousin’s face lights up when he sees me.

“Hongjoong! You came!”, San gets up again from the chair.

He is wearing a very nice white suit and has his hair slicked back. I see a golden ring resting on his left hand.

“Holy shit, San. You are getting married!”, I smile.

“I don’t know that yet”, San frowns.

“Why? What happened?”, I ask him.

“Wooyoung said he doesn’t know if he is ready”, my father explains to me.

“Hi, dad”, I greet him. He grabs my shoulder and hugs me softly.

“What do you mean he is not ready? He proposed!”, I am confused.

“Well, this morning he called me asking if we could postpone the wedding”, San informs me.

“He- WHAT?”, I am utterly shocked at the news.

I knew that bastard, Wooyoung, my cousin’s fiancé, had commitment issues, but not that they would follow him to the altar… quite literally. My cousin’s and that guy’s relationship has had its ups and downs, but… to think that he would think about running away last minute. That’s… that’s just unacceptable.

“I’m gonna talk to him”, I assure San.

He pouts and nods. Then he sits down and holds his head between his hands. My uncle comes to his side and caresses his son’s back.

“I’ll be back in a minute”, I tell my dad.

“Don’t be too hard on Wooyoung, the poor guy must be super nervous”, he says.

I nod and leave the room. I storm to the other side of the corridor to the other groom’s room. I open the door slowly to find Wooyoung lying on the floor with his eyes closed. The motherfucker died.

“Shhhh”, a voice shuts me down.

It is Yeosang who is shushing me: Wooyoung’s best man.

“Is he okay?”, I ask in shock.

“He is meditating”, Yeosang explains.

“MEDITATING?”, I reply.

“He was too nervous, so we shut him down”, Yeosang nods.

“You fucking turned him off??????”, I cannot believe this situation.

“It was Mingi’s idea. Don’t give me that look”, Yeosang gestures at the tall guy that I have failed to notice.

He is Mingi, San’s best man. And right now, I do not know what the actual fuck he is doing. It looks like he is performing a ritual. He is walking slowly in circles around Wooyoung. I pay attention to what he is muttering.

“You are not nervous”, Mingi chants softly.

“I am not nervous”, Wooyoung replies in an even softer voice.

Then Mingi hands him a potato chip. Wooyoung eats it slowly.

“Is he pulling a Pavlov on him?”, I rise my voice.

“Looks like it”, Yeosang tones indicates how tired he is.

“I don’t think that’s how you do it”, I whisper.

“WOOYOUNG RISE NOW. YOU ARE NOT NERVOUS”, Mingi shouts.

Wooyoung opens his eyes widely and sits down on the floor.

“I AM NOT NERVOUS”, he says.

Mingi hands him the chips bag and Wooyoung eats the remnant by just shoving it down his throat.

“I hope those are not the garlic flavored”, I tell him.

“Hongjoong! I am not nervous!”, he greets me.

“Wooyoung, listen”, I order him.

“What? Don’t tell me San already gave up on me?”, Wooyoung opens his eyes wide.

“No. Listen”, I pinch the bridge of my nose.

He is still sitting on the floor and looks up to me.

“Who in his right fucking mind says he doesn’t know if he wants to get married on his fucking wedding day?”, I demand.

“You swore two times, that’s two coins of 500₩ on the swear jar”, Mingi reminds me.

“You still doing the swear jar thing?”, I moved out the flat we shared a long time ago, and we did in fact have a swear jar. We mostly filled it between Wooyoung and me.

“Yeah, of course”, Mingi looks at me in disbelief. He is still as naïve as back then.

“Anyway, Wooyoung. You cannot abandon my cousin on your wedding day”, I drive my attention back to the groom.

“I’m not gonna do that. I love him, Hongjoong. You know that”, he assures me.

“I know you love him. But I know you also have commitment issues. You guys have broken up and gotten back together too many times for me to trust you on this one”, I reply.

“Well, that’s… that was a long time ago”, Wooyoung pouts. “I’m not like that anymore.”

“Well, I don’t know about that”, I sigh. “Just, Wooyoung… Don’t make me regret introducing you to my cousin, okay? I love you and you are one of my best friends… but San… He is my family. So, if you ruin his special day, I’ll fucking crush your kneecaps”, I warn him.

“And that’s another 500₩”, Mingi whispers.

“See you at the altar”, I say before getting out the room.

Yeosang follows me. Before the door closes, I can see Wooyoung getting up from the floor. I hope I have knocked some sense onto him.

“So, how are you?”, Yeosang asks me.

“I’m fine. It’s been a long time since I saw you guys. I’m happy it looks like not a day has passed since our flat days”, I smile.

“Well, yeah. We are still the same, Hongjoong. Except for you, none has changed”, Yeosang replies.

“I haven’t changed that much”, I shrug.

“I heard you got yourself a boyfriend”, he hits me with his shoulder lightly.

“Ah… Yeah… I did.”

“So, who’s it? Who did you convince to help you?”, Yeosang is curious.

“A coworker”, I bury my face between my hands. It’s so embarrassing.

“What did you trick him with?”, he chuckles.

“I promised him cake”, I sigh.

“The good ol’ trick”, Yeosang shakes his head.

“You haven’t told anyone right?”, I grab Yeosang’s shoulders.

“What? That you are pretending to have a boyfriend so that your cousin doesn’t feel bad for getting married to your long-life crush?”

Yeosang knows how to hit where it hurts.

“San doesn’t know he is my crush, and I would prefer to keep it that way”, I raise an eyebrow at Yeosang.

“Don’t worry, your dirty secret is save with me”, Yeosang motions zipping his mouth.

“Now, let’s enjoy this fucking party”, I head out to the chapel’s open space.

※

“You may now kiss the husband”, the officer proclaims.

The whole room cheers as Wooyoung grabs San by the waist and kisses him passionately. I clap alongside my friends. Even if it hurts, I am so happy for San. He is beaming. His dimples are as protruding as ever. This is the happiest day of his life. Wooyoung smiles widely next to him. He looks as handsome as ever with a matching white suit to his now husband.

Through the corners of my eyes I see Mingi wiping away his tears. Yeosang is cheering next to me. On my left is Yunho, my coworker and fake boyfriend. He has completely adapted to the role.

“Your mom is so nice!”, he told me when we reunited.

“Did she torture you too much?”, I asked him.

“Nope, and don’t worry”, he leaned closer and whispered, “We are safe.”

Yunho gave me a thumbs up.

Now he is standing next to me, clapping cheerfully as if he knew the grooms his whole life. He is a nice guy, Yunho. I almost feel bad to ask him out on this weird date, but he is actually doing a nice job, so I’m thankful for that.

“Please, all guests head to the backyard! Lunch will be served soon!”, a voice announces.

“Shall we go?”, Yeosang asks me.

“Sure, I’m starving”, I smile at my friend.

“After you”, he is a real gentleman.

I lead our tiny group to our table. We are pretty close to the groom’s table. After all, Mingi and Yeosang are the best men and they have to give a speech. San actually chose me to be his best man, but I refused for obvious reasons. It is already hard for me to see Wooyoung getting married to someone other than me (not that I ever wanted that) (Okay, maybe a little) (but that’s not the point here), so it would have been even harder having to give a speech on said wedding. So, San chose Mingi.

After the food and some drinks, before the cake is cut, a toast starts. It is San’s father who starts it. Wooyoung’s dad follows after him. Quickly the attention diverts to our table. Mingi gets up and gives his speech as San’s best man. He speaks beautifully about the couple; about the memories he has of them on our flat. About San coming over and how we had such a nice time when we were together. Shit, he is making me tear up a little.

Those were nice times. When Wooyoung asked me to share a flat while we were in college my heart did a backflip. Of course, he did not think much of it. We were just friends, best friends. But that was it. We found a flat and rented it together with two strangers who turned out to be Yeosang and Mingi. San used to come over very often. Especially after he met Wooyoung and fell head over heels for him. I mean, who wouldn’t? The boy is handsome, funny, kind, a little stupid but cute and soft. Even if he has commitment issues, he is a nice guy.

Then it is Yeosang’s turn.

He hates speaking in public, but Wooyoung asked him to, so he agreed to do it. I am pretty sure he prepared very hard for this. Yeosang uses his wide vocabulary and natural charisma to give a lovely speech. I can see Wooyoung wipe his tears. Hell, this is a crying party. Yeosang’s speech is not even that emotional, but there is something about his voice that makes you reminiscence about the past.

Yeosang, he is such a calm person. Really, if we survived through college it was mostly thanks to him. Mingi was too soft of a boy and we all took on the mission of protecting him, but especially Yeosang. In our group, he plays the mom role. I am the older brother who cannot control his fucking hormones. I fought a lot with Wooyoung because I was always so irritated that he did not catch on to my feelings. The boy was dense. Like dense, dense. And I was jealous too, that he fell for my cousin. I mean it was obvious. How Wooyoung looked at San, even from the first day. Truthfully, they are the ideal couple. I knew that. That is why I decided to erase myself from the equation. I left the flat and moved to another apartment when I got the job I have now.

Now I live by myself. I feel lonely most of the time. So, when San and Wooyoung told me they were getting married I could not help but blurt out that I had a boyfriend. They organized the wedding pretty quickly and now here we are.

When Yeosang finishes, everyone claps. It was a beautiful speech.

“Thank you, Yeosang”, Wooyoung says.

“Yeah, and thank you too, Mingi”, San adds.

Mingi finger guns him as a response.

“Hongjoong, would you like to say some words?”, my cousin asks me.

“What? Me?”, San is pouting.

When he looks at me like that, I am willing to give up everything. Even the man I love. That’s just the effect my cousin has always had on me. It was my job to protect him when he was little. We went to the same school and well, let’s say not all his classmates were nice to him. So, I took on the big brother role and made it my life duty to protect him from everything. So, of course, even if I know I will be devastated after talking on his wedding, I get up from my seat and do it anyway.

“Well, please forgive me. I have not prepared any kind of speech, so I do not have any idea what to say”, I start my monologue. “But what I know that I would say is that I am more than happy today.” I have been lying for so long now, I can continue, right? Maybe If I lie, even to myself, I will start believing this truth.

“These two rascals are finally married. Wow. Who would have expected that? A dramatic ass Cancer and a too carefree Sagittarius?”, everyone laughs, “But here we are. Celebrating their love for each other. Because if there is something that is clear today, is that they do love each other. San, Wooyoung, you two are very precious to me. I hold you both very dear to my heart. I wish the best of lucks to you guys in this new adventure. I hope you have a long life filled with love and cats or dogs or whatever you guys wanna get”, I chuckle. “I love you, guys. Congratulations on your marriage”, I take a sip from the drink I am holding. The sparkly champagne makes my throat burn.

Everyone claps and I sit down.

“Nice speech”, Yeosang mocks me.

I glare at him.

“Yeah, that was very beautiful, honey”, Yunho tells me.

“Thank you”, I smile. He is so kind.

Wooyoung and San get up to cut the cake. A while later, we have a piece each. I let Yunho have my slice, I cannot eat anymore. I just keep on gulping down the champagne.

“I’m leaving now”, Yunho tells me.

“Be careful on your way home”, I reply.

Yunho hesitates before leaving, but he ends up kissing me on the temple. I blush from head to toe.

“Goodbye, Joongie”, he says before leaving.

“You guys are so cute”, Mingi smiles widely, “I think he might be the one for you Joongs.”

“Right?”, Yeosang coos.

I glare at him once again.

“I need more champagne”, I announce and get up from our table, looking for more alcohol.

San and Wooyoung are dancing in the middle of the improvised dance floor. They look absolutely stunning. They are whispering into each other’s ears. Knowing San, it could be tender and soft words, knowing Wooyoung he must be listing all the ways he is going to fuck him tonight.

I grab the closest champagne bottle I can find and start looking for a hidden corner in which I can dwell in self-pity. I wander through the building. There are many closed doors, but eventually, I find a balcony. I open the crystal doors and get outside. The fresh air helps me sober up.

“I have to deal with that”, I pour myself a glass.

Actually, what I thought was a balcony is actually a terrace. There are some tables scattered around the open space. It is like a chill-out kind of place so there are also plenty of comfortably looking armchairs and… Bingo! A sofa. I throw my body there and sip from my drink. I sit there in silence, looking to the sky and gulping alcohol.

I feel the fuzzy sensation messing up with my brain. I close my eyes and let a single tear run down my face.

That is all I am allowing myself.

I have to get over Wooyoung.

Maybe I could actually ask out Yunho. Or I could get back with my ex. Or maybe not, Yeosang would kill me if I get back with Seonghwa. Maybe I could ask Yunho to introduce me to his flat mate, the rich kid… What was his name again? Jongho? Yeah. He could be a nice sugar daddy or something.

I shake my head. That is stupid. I should not need a man. For fuck’s sake, Hongjoong, you do not need no man!

I fill my glass once again.

Yeosang finds me when I have almost emptied the bottle.

“What are you doing here?”, he asks me while sitting down.

“Sliding through my pity hole”, I manage to say.

“You are fucking drunk”, Yeosang takes the rest of the alcohol away from my reach.

“Nooo”, I complain and try to get it back, but my head spins so much I have to sit down again.

“Why the fuck are you drinking by yourself?”, Yeosang insists.

“You owe Mingi 1000₩”, I chuckle.

Yeosang furrows his eyebrows. That is the face he makes when he is frustrated. Is a face he exclusively makes for me. I get on his nerves all the time.

“Hongjoong, you shouldn’t be here alone”, he reprimands me.

“I’m not alone. I have champagne”, I defend myself.

“Whatever”, Yeosang dismisses me, “Let’s go back.”

“No!” I rise my voice too high that Yeosang is surprised. “Yeo please, no. Let’s stay here. I won’t drink anymore but don’t make me go back there.”

Yeosang sighs and gets up to sit down next to me on the sofa. He pours the rest of the champagne on his own glass and gulps it down in one go.

“There”, he says, “If I’m going to keep you drunk company, I should be drunk too.”

“That’s my boy talking”, I pat him on the shoulder.

“Seriously, Hongjoong, you are so pathetic right now”, he is brutally honest with me.

“Thank you”, I chuckle.

“You should just get over that guy”, Yeosang shakes his head.

“I know”, I nod, “I have decided to do that right now.”

“You decided just now?”, Yeosang laughs.

“Yeah”, I nod again.

“Did you ever think you had a chance?”, Yeosang gets serious.

“To be honest? No. Those two… God, I hate to admit it, but they are a match made in heaven. Two guys that attractive and charming and just everything nice? They are made for each other”, I confess.

“Then why didn’t you give up?”, he asks me.

“Because I do not know how to”, I throw my head back and look up to the sky once again.

“Well, then that makes us quite similar…”, Yeosang mutters.

“Why? Do you also have on your cousin’s husband?”, I joke, but Yeosang does not laugh.

“Luckily, no. Just the guy I like is not emotionally available”, he shrugs.

“That sucks. Does he have a boyfriend or something?”, Yeosang laughs this time.

“Kinda. It’s complicated”, he tells me.

“Then explain it to me. I bet it can’t be worse than this or more pathetic”, I assure him.

Yeosang hesitates and I can almost see his mind process of deciding whether he can share that information with me or not. I have always relied on him when it comes to love stuff. Not because I wanted too, but because he caught onto my feelings. Apparently, I was not as subtle as I thought. Or maybe I am, because no one else has noticed. Maybe Yeosang is just that observant. So I started relying on him. It was very easy; he is a nice listener. He also gives nice advice, but I never followed it. If I had, would I be the one getting married today? I stop that train of thought. The fact is that I am not, and San, my cousin, my little brother, is. And he is happy. That is all that should matter to me.

“I have been in love with this guy for a long time now”, Yeosang starts talking.

“Now, that’s something I can relate to”, I rise my chin.

Yeosang laughs softly, but soon he gets serious again. There is something about his concentration face that makes him very attractive. I mean, he is not Wooyoung but, he is handsome and charming in his own way. He is not the super social kid, more of an introvert, but he is a kind person. Probably the purest soul in this world, if you ask me. Suddenly it hits me that I have never heard about him having any kind of partner. Like, not even a hookup. There were plenty of those for us back in the flat. I mean, one of them was my ex, Seonghwa. But that did not work well. I had to eat ice-cream for a week to get over him. Then I went back to my daydreaming about Wooyoung routine.

“He is so dense”, Yeosang complains, “Like, I have been hinting that I like him for so long but, he, he just won’t notice me.”

Yeosang pouts and lowers his head. I can see his eyelashes casting shadows over his cheeks.

“What? Man, he doesn’t know what he is missing! You are such a handsome and nice guy! Have you tried everything?”, I ask him.

“Trust me”, he emphasizes, “I have.”

“All the tricks? Are you sure? You gave me very good advice back then, I’m sure you can come up with something”, I rest my hand on his shoulder.

“I even tried the walking around half naked, to see if that would at least excite him, but nope. Nothing, _nada_ ”, he says.

“Eh? But from what I remember you had such a nice body. Remember when you used to walk around the house with just a towel after taking a shower?”, I remind him.

“Yeah. I remember”, Yeosang bites his bottom lip and lets out a chuckle, “But he didn’t even look at me twice.”

“What? You even had abs! Do you still have them?”, I ask him.

“Yeah, kinda”, Yeosang runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it aside. It looks messy.

“Then that guy is really fucking dense”, I agree.

“Yeah. _He is_ ”, he confirms.

Yeosang shakes his head furiously, messing up his hair even more. I rise my hand to fix it. When I touch his hair he flinches, but he lets me fix it for him.

“There”, I say, “Now you look handsome.”

“You think I’m handsome?”, Yeosang asks me.

“What? Of course! You are”, I assure him.

Yeosang fidgets with his fingers, trying to snap one of his nails. He is nervous for some reason. Before he hurts himself, I hold his hand to stop him.

“You are going to hurt yourself”, I whisper.

“You are the one that’s hurting me, Hongjoong”, he whispers too.

“Sorry! Did I grab your hand too hard? I’m sorry, I’m drunk, and I don’t know how much pressure I’m putting onto things”, I apologize.

“You are hurting me here”, I follow the direction of Yeosang’s finger. He is pointing to his chest.

“Your lungs? I don’t smoke”, I furrow my eyebrows.

Yeosang rolls his eyes so hard I think they are going to disappear inside his skull.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, he asks me a little bit too violently.

“What? Why are you so angry?”, I cower.

“Because you are so fucking dense. So. Fucking. DENSE”, Yeosang emphasizes each word.

“What? Me? I thought we were talking about the guy you like?”, I say.

And then it hits me. Everything hits me. Like a wave of realization.

“Oh fuck”, I whisper.

“Glad you found out before you made me actually say it”, Yeosang crosses his arms before himself.

“Holy shit”, my drunk brain is processing as fast as it can this new information.

“You like me?”, I want to confirm it. Am I right? Is this for real?

“Yes, I do. I have liked you for a long time now, you fucking dumbass”, Yeosang says.

“Holy shit”, my head is uncontrollably spinning.

I cannot stop it, it is spiraling, I feel it. It feels like my brain is going to burst inside my head. Wait, no. It is not my brain, is my stomach. I am going to puke.

“I am going to puke”, I announce.

“Great! That is just the reaction I was expecting!”, Yeosang says sarcastically.

I feel my intestines burning. I drank too much alcohol. I fucked up. God, do I hate myself right now.

My vision becomes blurry. Am I crying? I think so. Is it because I am puking? Or because I am sad? I do not know. Yeosang caresses my back while I let it all out. He also makes sure I do not get myself dirty. Then he disappears for a couple minutes and comes back with tissues. He cleans the corners of my mouth and helps me get up. I cling onto him while he drags me outside the terrace.

The next thing I remember is that we are on the back row of a car. I am leaning on Yeosang’s shoulder. I am cold.

“I’m cold”, I whisper.

Yeosang takes off his suit’s jacket and uses it to cover me.

“Thank you”, I mutter.

※

I wake up covered in sweat. I am lying in a strange bed, in a strange room. Or wait, it is oddly familiar. The soft pastel blue walls, the posters… it rings a bell. This is Yeosang’s room. It has not changed one bit. By my side, Yeosang sleeps soundly. I try to remember what happened yesterday.

I puked, Yeosang called a taxi, we arrived to our old flat (well, it is still theirs), and we fell asleep. What I do not grasp is why the hell Yeosang and I are sleeping in the same bed. I check under the blankets just in case. I am wearing one of Yeosang’s old pajamas. I sigh in relief. Good.

“We didn’t have sex”, Yeosang raspy voice assures me.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”, I apologize.

“Kinda. You stole my blankets”, he complains.

“Oh, sorry”, I hurriedly cover him.

“What time is it?”, he asks me.

“I don’t know. Still not morning”, I reply.

Yeosang scrubs his eyes. I observe him and he blushes.

“Don’t look at me like that!”, he tries to hide behind the covers.

“Like what?”, I tilt my head.

“Like… just like that”, he gives up on explaining.

“Sorry…”, I apologize once again.

“Stop apologizing already”, Yeosang sighs. “Look”, he starts, “about today… let’s just forget it. I don’t want us to be awkward.”

Oh, yeah. Yeosang likes me. I almost forgot. But now that he reminded the sober me about it, I think about it. Yeosang likes me. For how long? Did he endure all of my Wooyoung shenanigans while he liked me? I feel so bad now. For venting to him, for being so dense. Damn, I complained about Wooyoung, but I am too.

“Do you really want me to forget about it?”, I ask him.

“What? You don’t want to forget about the fact that I’m in love with you?”, Yeosang asks in return.

“Maybe I don’t”, I reply.

Yeosang opens his mouth in shock.

“Do you understand the implications of what you are implying?”, he insists.

“That phrase is redundant, but yes I do”, I insist myself.

Yeosang opens his mouth to reply, but he shuts it immediately, not knowing what to say.

“Well, maybe I want to get over Wooyoung. Well, not maybe. I do want to get over that happily married bastard. I’m not saying I want to take advantage of you. That is not okay”, I explain.

“I would let you if you wanted to”, Yeosang assures me.

“Yeosang, please”, I sigh, “What I want to say is that it would be nice to think about someone else that is not that married fucker.”

“O…okay”, Yeosang starts. “So, let me check I got this right… You would be open to, let’s say, go on a couple dates with me? Maybe make out? And just have a nice time?”, I nod in response.

“Wow”, Yeosang pushes his hair back in disbelief. “Are you for real?”, he asks once again.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s kiss and go on dates and if it doesn’t work out… Well, at least we tried”, I shrug.

“Can we kiss now?”, Yeosang blurts.

“You sure are eager”, I chuckle.

“Joongs, you have no fucking idea how long I have wanted this, you…”, Yeosang places his hands around my face.

“Well, I am all yours right now”, I whisper.

“Fucking hell”, Yeosang leans closer.

“That’s 500₩”, I mutter.

Yeosang kisses me right that instant. His tongue explores my mouth freely while his body gets closer to mine. He is warm. I grab him by the waist and pull him even closer.

Yeosang separates himself for a second, grasping for hair.

“I didn’t know you could be so passionate”, I coo at him.

“Oh, boy. You sure know how to get someone excited”, he whispers.

※

“I’m breaking up with you”, I announce.

“What? You can’t do this to me!”, Yunho fakes crying.

“I’m sorry”, I laugh.

“I’m so heartbroken”, Yunho grabs his chest dramatically.

“Thank you for coming”, I say, this time I’m serious.

“No problem! I got free cake!”, Yunho smiles. “Next time you need a fake boyfriend just tell me”, he elbows me softly.

“I don’t think I will be needing your services for now”, I assure him.

“Oh?”, Yunho lifts an eyebrow, “That sounds like someone’s got a date.”

“Kinda”, I shrug.

“It must be true that you can easily find love in weddings”, Yunho daydreams.

I cannot help but laugh.

“Seems like it might be true”, I reply.

So far, it is.


End file.
